Ranking the 6 Tolkien/Middle-Earth Films

I just finished rewatching a set of possibly the greatest adventure films of all time. While many people aren't a huge fan of the new hobbit trilogy, I really liked it, but am still a big LOTR fan. Rankings worst to best as always. A few spoilers ahead.

6. The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

The main problem with the third installment of the hobbit is that it really lacks in the two things that were supposed to make it the best hobbit movie, and possibly even up with the Lord of the Rings quality. Those are the battle of five armies and bard vs. smaug. Smaug is dealt with first. After the awesome build up in the last hour of Desolation, Smaug was established as a great villain who really could do some damage. It seemed like it would take a lot to beat him. The film starts off right where the last left off. Smaug is wrecking Lake-Town to pieces. Bard breaks out of his cell, and has a three minute fight with Smaug before hitting his weak spot and killing him. That's right, Smaug dies in the first 15 minutes of the film. He doesn't kill anyone important before dying, and he only takes one hit before falling to his death. Once you get over that, you have to wait an hour before any more action starts and the battle is big- but totally lame. It's infested with distracting CGI, annoying characters, and it's not a very exciting battle. And it doesn't show much of the battle either. The story frequenly cuts away. I think that's the main reason no one really liked the last hobbit, but it's certainly not a bad movie. In fact, once you get past the disappointment of it, it's entertaining. The characters and acting are at it's finest. The deaths totally work and end up being really sad, unexpected, and not stupid at all. The ending is perfect. It sets up LOTR perfectly, and it hard not to be sad when the end credits roll to the song "The Last Goodbye sung by the actor who played Pippin and you realize it's the last Middle-Earth movie ever. The final installment wasn't bad, just disappointing.

5. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a great film. It's not all disappointing, and in fact quite the opposite. At the time, I expected nothing from the hobbit and instead I got a fun, cool, adventure that had some really good moments. Why is it so low then? Because I'm comparing it to some of the greatest movies ever made. The reason why the first installment isn't as good as the other films ahead of it on this list, is that it takes a long, long, time to get into any excitement or any real adventure. The dwarf party is good the first time, but on rewatches you realize it's not quite what you came to see and is overly long. On the other hand, it introduces the characters well, and gives some good comedic moments. The next hour isn't too good. Sure, you finally get action and adventure, but none of it is too good, and there are far too many breaks and dialogue heavy scenes. At that point in the movie, it wasn't too good. Fortunately, the last hour more than satisfied. It had three amazing moments that are perhaps the greatest in the trilogy. First was the riddles with Gollum. It was funny, it was nice to see another familiar face from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and it worked very well story-wise in understanding how Bilbo got the ring. Next was the terrific action sequence in the goblin cave. Sure, it was ridiculous, but a load of fun. That sequence ended with a great line: That'll do it. The final scene was brilliant. The orcs push the dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf to the edge of a cliff and they hang on fall trees. After a whole movie filled with comedy, it was good to actually see our heroes in danger for once and the pinecone throwing might be my favorite thing in the whole movie.

4. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The second installment into the Hobbit franchise is such a great movie. It fixed that problem the first one had and jumped into the action right away. First came a funny moment with Bombur and a stay with a new guest, next was an interesting scene in Mirkwood with the spider, and then they're captured by the elves. And it that wasn't enough, next is a 15 minute long chase (?) sequences involving the dwarves floating in barrels down the river, fighting orcs with the help of elves. Legolas returns and although he wasn't quite as good as he was in LOTR, he does help make the action sequence a little better. Next, we're introduced to Bard- the lead human character in the trilogy. Bard brings Bilbo and the dwarves into Lake-Town, my favorite place in Middle-Earth. Rivendell was cool. Gondor was cool. The shire was awesome. Mordor was great. Even the elf home previously seen in this was pretty good. But as great as they all are- Lake Town blows them all away. Entering lake-town is a perfect scene, accompanied with music that captures the amazing setting perfectly. There's tension, and a set of interesting characters is introduces. Finally, the hobbits get to the mountain and the enter- and it's so, so satisfying. Next is a tense scene between Bilbo and Smaug, and Smaug is done perfectly. The film's final act is a 30 minute action sequences using the factory and mines as a way to fight/evade Smaug. The film is nearly perfect, and there's so many fantastic moments in it. The one fault it has is that Gandalf is missing from the dwarve's adventure- which is fine, but instead we see his boring side story which is always annoying because we're not seeing the much more dwarf story. A beautiful, fun, super interesting and all-around great film that really tells you why the Hobbit movies aren't bad.

3. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

(I don't know as much about LOTR as I do about the Hobbit, so my write-ups will be shorter). The second Lord of the Rings film is truly amazing. The first hour is probably the best part. We see the adventure continued, not as one fellowship, but as three stories of the three groups. Sam and Frodo encounter Gollum and start their road towards Mordor, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli chase down Merry and Pippin, and Merry and Pippin escape the clutches of the orcs. The second hour had great moments like the ride into Rohan, Sméagol's argument/transformation, and Gandalf's great return. The film has the first epic battle of Middle-Earth, The Battle of Helm's deep. It's entertaining, and pretty cool. At the same time, we have another awesome battle- except it's more one sided. The ents take out Isengard by flinging boulders and breaking a water dam. It's a satisfying defeat in both battles and one more step to getting peace on Middle-Earth. Sam's speech is great, and the ending is perfect.

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Like the first hobbit, fellowship takes a while to get into the action. The forming of the team is a great moment. First it's Frodo and Gandalf, then Sam joins, and when they get to Bree Merry and Pippin have joined them. The Rivendell meeting is awesome and gimli trying to destroy the ring with his axe is a funny and at the same time, serious moment. The rest of the movie has the best scenery of the whole franchise, has interesting battles and plot moments for the rest of the movie. The ending is very good with Boromir's sad death and the splitting of the fellowship. A Perfect start to a perfect trilogy.

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

 This is my third favorite movie of all time. The characters are amazing, each battle sequence is better and better-but the best part of it is the relationship between Sam and Frodo and the journey to Mordor. Sam is my favorite of the franchise and it's heartbreaking to see Frodo leave him in one the film's saddest moments. Gollum is a great villain and he not only deceives Frodo but also almost brings him to death. Sam's brave and daring rescue to save Frodo and support him to the end of the journey is amazing and the film is topped with a great ending fit for a king. And the ending is even sadder than the Hobbit ending.

Ranking the Five Mission: Impossible Films

I'm a little late with this, but about three weeks back, the most recent Mission: Impossible movie was released into theaters. I watched it the Monday after it came out, and it was certainly one of the better entries in the franchise. The franchise has been around for 19 years, seems to keep growing with the announcement of a sixth film, and for fans of it, it might be a good time to know how you would rank them against each other. So here's my ranking of every MI film to date. Worst to Best.

5. Mission: Impossible II

MI 2 is the only bad movie in the franchise. It's ridiculous, it's not really that fun, the characters are at their all time low. I think most people would agree that this is easily the worst film of the bunch and it's hard not to agree with that. I'd rather not linger on a bad film, so let's move on.

4. Mission: Impossible

Mission: Impossible, the original, does have its moments, but it only has one good character. And besides the exciting break in scene and the opening sequence, it isn't too exciting. The final act isn't very good- it's not fun, it's ridiculous, and the effects are quite awful. Fortunately, it's nowhere near as bad as its sequel, but it's a just okay film, and I really only rewatch to get the whole franchise marathon effect. Not a bad film, but certainly nowhere near the greatness of the later ones.

3. Mission: Impossible III

Mission: Impossible 3 was the first sign the franchise was going to get better. (Kinda like Fast Five for the Furious franchise). It was the first movie that wasn't boring at all, it upped the mission and stakes, added a few cool new team members to IMF, had an intriguing plot, and is probably the most realistic Mission: Impossible to date. The action sequences are one after another, and they're great. The movie is additionally helped by it's villain, Owen Davian, who's played by the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman. Hoffman's villain is unlike your typical action movie villain- he's actually threatening, and makes Ethan's mission become really impossible. There's isn't much wrong with this film- and it certainly isn't the bad movie everyone thinks it is.

2. Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation

Rogue Nation was a load of fun. The team is at it's very best- with Tom Cruise, Simon Pegg and Jeremy Renner taking on big roles and returning from Ghost Protocol- plus Ving Rhames gets a real role after getting forced into a cameo in the previous film. Character-wise, this would be the best film. The villain is the only other real villain in the franchise besides Davian, and Rebecca Ferguson's character is one of the stronger lead female in the franchise. It has funny moments (thank you Simon Pegg), it has serious moments, and it has moments that really make you think. The gem of the movie is the fantastic, lengthy, chase scene in Morocco. It's awesome, and the second best action sequence in the whole franchise. The ending is another great part of the movie. If this movie closed out the franchise, It would be more than a proper ending. The only problem with it is: the plane sequence's potential is totally wasted and used as the opening scene. It was disappointing especially with so much hype about it. It's also quite annoying how Ilsa Faust constantly changes sides.

1. Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol

Of course, Ghost Protocol pretty much has the best action sequences ever. The Pegg-Renner-Patton-Cruise is very good, and every action scene is the movie is tense, cool, exciting, and fun. The Dubai scene is easily the best action sequence in the franchise- and one of the best in all movies. It's an exhilarating ride from start to finish, and the action never disappoints, for the first time in the franchise.

As good as the 4th and 5th entry in the list were, don't be surprised if Mission: Impossible 6 is by far the best. Mission: Impossible 6 is supposed to hit theaters in 2017.

Ranking All Eight Quentin Tarantino's Films- Best to Worst

8. Jackie Brown

Something has to come in last. While some people might say they like all the Tarantinos and their least favorite is still a good movie, I wouldn't. Jackie Brown is a bad movie. It has a very good cast and usually in a Tarantino film that means it'll also have great characters. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Most of the time, a lead female character isn't very interesting or likeable. Jackie Brown was a totally lame character, and she kinda brought the film down with her. The one character I actually liked during the film was Robert DeNiro's Louis. But my feeling of the characters were really the same as Melanie's feeling of him. He started out cool, relaxed, and calm, but he turned grouchy, uptight, and annoying. There's no doubt that the performances are excellent, but the characters aren't very good- and that's a rare thing in a Tarantino. Another huge problem with the film was that it was way too long. If it had been 30 minutes shorter, it would've been less boring and overall, a better film.

7.  Kill Bill: Volume Two

Unlike Jackie Brown, The Bride is a great female character and an excellent choice for the lead. Kill Bill: Volume Two, like Jackie Brown was too long, and would been less boring if shortened. Kill Bill: Volume One was an awesome, stylish, super-fun action adventure, but Volume Two isn't anything like the first two. Some people like the second much better, but its' complete lack of action really make it worse than Volume One. There's very little action and when it happens, it's short and not very enjoyable. Some scenes without action and more dialogue based are actually quite boring. Kill Bill: Volume Two is an okay film, and while it certainly has cool moments, it a huge disappointment, especially because it followed such a great first installment.

6. Death Proof

Here's where it gets good. Death Proof is a good movie. It's not all boring, despite long, long moments of dialogue between characters who weren't really that great. Stuntman Mike, of course if by far the most interesting character. The tension of the car chase scenes is great and it couldn't have been done better. Death Proof is also interesting because it's kind of a two part story. First Stuntman mike chases one group of girls, then another. As good as Death Proof is, it lacks great characters and the cast is mostly female. But Kurt Russell gives a great and memorable performance as Stuntman Mike.

5. Reservoir Dogs

Tarantino's first film brought some of his best characters and best dialogue. The reason I barely like it more than Death Proof, is that it's not very exciting. There's too many flashbacks, and not nearly enough action. Fortunately, Reservoir Dogs more than makes up for it with great characters and an awesome twist. But still, it could've been more exciting.

4. Django Unchained

Django Unchained's got it all. Great characters, great acting, a good story, and that Tarantino tension packed scene. The run length is a little long, there aren't enough interesting characters, and it seems like any other old Tarantino film. I guess that's not an awful thing, but it doesn't seem very fresh. Django and Dr. King Shultz are excellent characters, and Leonardo DiCaprio turns in one of his all-time best performances and all eyes are on him in every scene he's in. He probably should've got the Oscar, not Christoph Waltz. It's a good movie for sure, it just doesn't seem that original.

3. Kill Bill: Volume One

Kill Bill: Volume One is a super exciting tale of revenge with an awesome story, great characters, and damn good action. It's never rushed, or boring, just brilliant. The style is incredible and awesome.  It is a cool and fun ride that you'll always be eager to rewatch.

2. Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino brought such a masterpiece to every viewer in 1994. It involves a plethora of amazing interesting characters getting involved in crime. There's something for everyone in it. Samuel L. Jackson's Jules Winnefeld is one of the greatest characters of all time, it's probably John Travolta's greatest performance ever and Quentin Tarantino himself has a great cameo. The story, the acting, the characters, the soundtrack- this movie was made perfectly.

1. Inglourious Basterds

As impossible as it was to top Pulp Fiction, Tarantino did it. A intense, dialogue-driven, interesting, story heavy masterpiece with a great cast is how I like to describe Inglourious Basterds. It's nothing short of genius, the runtime is perfect, and the characters are great. It's beautiful.

Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of the rest of 2015

With the summer halfway over, and the last marvel film of the year already released there aren't a ton of huge films awaiting us before September 21. And after that, there aren't a ton either. As much as I love huge action movies, I also love great dramas, which the best seem to be released in the fall. So my favorite films have probably already come out, but there's still a ton of great ones not yet released. And these look the best.

10. The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (September 18)

I liked the Maze Runner. It was great movie. It was interesting, cool, and thrilling. ( I even decided to read the book. I got halfway through it when I realized I hate books, and I haven't read a page since.) The only thing it really lacked was a strong cast. The plot for the sequel sounded good. I wasn't a huge fan of the trailers released so far, but I'm excited for it.

9. The Martian (October 2)

The first trailer for Ridley Scott's the Martian looked awesome. The premise was good, but the thing that really sold me was the stacked cast. A bunch of great actors crammed into one movie: it's going to be awesome.

8. Trumbo (November 6)

Bryan Cranston starring in a biopic? Yes, please. Bryan Cranston already made himself a TV legend, but his big screen appearance so far have been small or wasted. Fortunately this looks like his turn to shine in a movie, and maybe come out with an Oscar nom.

7. The Revenant (December 25)

Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't even in any movies last year. He's pretty much the best actor around, and he needs that Oscar. Maybe it's this film. The trailer sure looks that way.

6. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (August 14)

Speaking of Action fun, there's still a little left before the summer ends. This movie seems to carry it all. Henry Cavill looks the part of a super spy, and there's sure to be terrific action sequences.

5. The Hateful Eight (December 25)

Tarantino's next film has a perfect cast. I don't know much about but his last western went so well, and now the cast is twice as great, so it looks good.

4. Everest (September 18)

Jason Clarke, Jake Gyleenhaal and Josh Brolin climbs Everest. Sounds great, but if you're not convinced just watch the trailer.

 

 

3. Spectre (November 6)

Everyone loved Skyfall, but I didn't really. What I'm really looked forward to is Spectre. Every trailer released so far has looked amazing, plus Ray Fiennes, Dave Batista, and Christoph Waltz all look excellent.

2. Black Mass (September 18)

Black Mass looks incredible. The story is great, of course (nothing beats real life), but it looks like Johnny Depp's return to greatness. (or a one time great thing). Either way, they picked the perfect guy to play Whitey, and the film would look great on that alone- but it has an incredible supporting cast too.

 

1. Star Wars: Episode VII- The Force Awakens (December 18)

Of course. Nothing else could really top this list could it. It looks the best star wars yet, with a plethora of brand new awesome characters.

 

 

Five Favorite Films of 2015

I thought now might be a good time to say my favorite 5 films of the year so far. When you're reading this, keep in mind that I've only seen about 15 2015 movies and there are plenty i haven't seen but want to. Let's start.

Honorable Mention: Spongebob: Sponge out of water

5. Kingsman: The Secret Service
I loved every kingsman trailer that came out. They looked so cool and had a great cast. I was disappointed to find out it was delayed to February and rated R. I thought a super fun spy film should be PG-13. I watched it in theaters regardless. It was a total blast, had some originality, and the characters were pretty good. It lost some  of its quality on the rewatch, but remained  a fun cool action movie. Kingsman deserves a watch and a place on this list.

4. Avengers: Age of Ultron
The only reason avengers age of Ultron made this list is because I haven't seen many 2015 movies yet. There's too many characters, the climax is disapointing, and villain is weak. But it came with awesome upsides too. The opening action sequence was awesome, setting the avengers on the screen again was nice, vision was awesome, the dinner party scene was full of your favorites and its one of the funniest marvel cinematic universe movies to date.

3. Ant-Man
The last movie I watched in theaters was Ant-Man. It was super fun, and Paul Rudd killed it. He did an incredible job of making Ant-Man cool. In fact, the rest of the characters were good and played well, especially Michael Douglas' Hank Pym and Michael Pena's Luis. The exception was Corey Stoll's weak villain Yellowjacket. (Not his fault though). The ant concept was cool, the falcon scene was an unexpected delight and Ant-Man is on the better half of the marvel cinematic films.

2. Jurassic World
I don't care what bad things critics or anyone has to say about Jurassic World. I disagree with most of them and I love it a lot more than the original. It brought the jurassic park franchise back on track, the kids weren't annoying at all, and Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard not only were pretty good together, but their characters are along the best of the series. It was funny, it was cool, and it was so much fun. The supporting cast was good too: Omar Sy, Vincent D'Onofrio, BD Wong and Irffan Khan. Sure, it had its fair share of flaws, but not huge ones and it was plenty awesome enough to ignore them.
1. Furious 7
Furious 7 perhaps has the best action sequences of any movie ever. The mountain chase scene was so thrilling and absolute fun. It was also lengthy so you could enjoy it for longer. The returning cast were at their very best and the new cast fit in greatly. Kurt Russell as Mr. Nobody was maybe the best of that. It sets up the Shaw brothers as future villains and i hope that happens. Not only is it by far the best of the series, but it's one of the greatest, if not the best, action movies of all time. The Paul Walker sendoff couldn't have been more beautiful - perfect and touching.

*Movies Already Released in Theaters I plan to see- True Story, Big Game, Mad Max: Fury Road, Cinderella, Spy, Ted 2, Tomorrowland, Inside Out,  Terminator Genisys, Self/Less, Minions, Pixels, Vacation

*Movies Already on DVD I want to see-
Unfinished Business, Run All Night, Danny Collins, Get Hard, Slow West, Ex Machina, The Water Diviner, Insurgent

Top 5 Breaking Bad Characters

Ranking of Seasons (Best to Worst): 5,4,3,2,1 (ha)

These were the characters that made Breaking Bad was it is. Ranked worst to best.

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5. Hector "Tio" Salamanca, Played by: Mark Margolis (8 Episodes)

Sure, he may seem like an odd choice because he's minor and a villain at one point, but it's hard not to feel for him when his entire family is killed. The bell was unique and has it's moments, and Hector has his shining moment in the season 4 finale, face off. Hector teams up with Walt to finally destroy Gus Fring in an awesome, awesome way. The great revenge he finally gets satisfies his death.

4. Mike Ehrmantraut, Played by: Jonathan Banks (25 Episodes)

I didn't think much of Mike when he started off, but I grew to love the character. Mike is extremely cool, and can kill anyone in a blink. Season 5, Part I wouldn't be the same without him. The terrible part is he got an awful sendoff, and didn't get to live the rest of his life in peace.

3. Saul Goodman, Played by: Bob Odenkirk (36 Episodes)

With only two good characters for the first season and a half, Breaking Bad was a little slow. Then came the episode Better Call Saul. Not only was it a great episode, but it introduced to the unforgettable criminal lawyer, Saul Goodman. Saul is smart, interesting, and cool.

2. Jesse Pinkman, Played by: Aaron Paul (62 Episodes)

Jesse made the show great. He was a great character and was extremely interesting. He created a lot of great moments on the show, and I was glad to see that he was one of two characters on this list who survived.

1. Walter "Walt" White, Played by: Bryan Cranston (62 Episodes)

Sure, Walt was annoying jerk for a big portion of the show and it hurt to see that he killed Mike and wanted to kill Jesse. But, he had amazing moments and did the right thing at the end. It's a shame he had to go, but he got his revenge and happiness.

Top 5 Breaking Bad Episodes

Today, I finished Breaking Bad. It was a two week experience that consumed hours of my time each day, and it's actually the second TV show I've seen every episode of. (The first is Lost). While I did think it was overrated and didn't enjoy it as much as others, it had amazing characters and moments, as well as a perfect finale. Normally, I would make a top 10 episode list and a worst one too, but there weren't ten that stood out as being much better than rest. There were 5, and there also weren't enough bad episodes (if any) to make a worst list. So here it is, my favorite five episodes of Breaking Bad.

5. Hazard Pay (S5E3)

Jesse and Walt team up again in the Meth business, this time being the boss of it all. While Walt and Jesse were already a great duo, Mike joining the team made it even better. The new lab and team was by far the most interesting in the series, and it has great moments in it.

4. Face Off (S4E13, Season 4 Finale)

Face Off finally sees the villain of the series, Gus Fring lose. He is defeated in spectacular fashion, Hector Salamanca finally gets revenge and Walt and Jesse cover their tracks like geniuses.

3. Dead Freight (S5E5)

I'm sort of an action junkie, and my complaint was that Breaking Bad was uneventful in the first few seasons, but this episode brought Breaking Bad to a whole new level. I thought the magnets were cool in the season opener, but that was awful compare to the Train heist. Walt, Jesse, Mike, and Todd rob a train, and it couldn't have cooler or more entertaining.

2. Granite State (S5E15)

Walt finally takes the offer to start a new life. It's nice to see a new setting and it's nice to see Walt not in danger for once. Sure, it doesn't last long, but he makes the time count.

1. Felina (S5E16, Season 5 Finale)

As hard as would be to top my number two and three, the finale ended the show perfectly. Walt makes everything right, Skinny Pete and Badger have awesome roles, and one of the most epic battles concludes the series.